(Daddy Issues)

“A bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench.” 

A self help book
“The Open Marriage”
Lies on the bedside
A distance could be felt 
A steady silent whittling away 
Confusing what intimacy was
For us teens, watching, waiting 
Cruelty in our dreams 

Going “bowling “ again
During the family dinner
Avoiding his favorite in-laws
His breath, Cutty Sark and cigars

Mom died suddenly 
Her heart actually broken
So many hidden bottles of vodka
He too seemed so lonely
Traded his house in the hills
for a twin screwed trawler 
Gold diggers swarming
Moored in the harbor
To a new Bottom 
With his “best friends”
A midsummer night’s dream

The first time we visited the boat
Our sweet and over sensitive dog
Jumped up from the dock
Ran through the galley
Leaped up
right in the middle of his bed
And defecated

That was about a year before 
He would lie, unvisited 
In the derelict veterans hospital 
His wounds from Iwo Jima festering, never fully healed
The flawed open heart surgery 
That eventually killed him

Not a part of that new life
At the wake, 
I made a drunken fool of myself
Wailing:
“The tools, the tools”
Like our long lost bond 
could be repaired

On the wall, a letter thanking him for the outsized contribution 
To the conservative action committee behind yet another unending nightmare 
The American Dream
never forgetting 
Unreconciled …
Life, Liberty 
and the pursuit of happiness 

Scot Gresham-Lancaster Brunswick, ME July 17, 2023