Rising up to fester

When I’m nervous I try (too hard) to be clever
My wife is under the knife right now
What is a non praying man to do?

“I wanna be here for suppah”
Said the old man in the adjacent room
He didn’t know where he was
After surgery 

Oh Father, 
Art thou in Heaven?
Hollow was your blame,
your affection
Lead us not into temptation 
(as we observed )
delivered us from righteousness 
(by your actions )

As we walk through our own
Valley of the shadow of death 
Where is the urn
that carried your ashes?
Next to earth?
Next to mother?
No, 
Lost in the mortal coil 
between here
and the Treppe zum Himmel

Power and the glory 
burnt and burning on the fuel of 
withering memories 

On earth as it is in 
phantasmal, shadowy 
    Heaven 

Give us Energy 
in this final Mass
“I love Thee above all things 
and I desire Thee in my soul” 
intoned with righteousness 

Ash becomes light
As it goes faster and faster ,
Away
Given time 
and distance 
forever and ever

A man, 

now an idea
Not quite a family 
a complex feeling of Love
Pater non familias 
A dazzling rainbow of bent light
Yet darkness 
Still

The OxyCodone prescription 
waiting for me
It eases the pain they say
Pages of unrelenting denial
Come with the little pill bottle 

Nurse says
“It’s cold, It’s cold outside 
Put on your coat
We’re going straight to the car 
Your daughter is waiting for you “
Then they were gone 

I love this hospital hardware
So well tested
If anything can defy death
This stuff can
It’s a god damn miracle 

3/25/24 SGL Brunswick, ME